New way of thinking...

Author: Jax Cassidy // Category:
I met a new friend in the blogosphere and HE made me think about past conversations. Not long ago my girlfriends and I started a discussion about....you got it, MEN! After a few glasses of wine, lowered inhibitions, and a potty mouth (not too much later), we always return to the topic of sex. I'm lucky. We're a F-U-N bunch. My girls are equivalent to Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte, but on the West Coast. I'm not kidding. Of course, they compare me to Samantha and I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult. I'd like to believe I'm a combination of Carrie and Samantha... Okay, where were we? The topic of ahem, lovers, came up during this particular drunken binge. Bad ones, good ones, knock your socks off and pass me the bourbon ones...and then the ones that are sooooo bad you just have to push them off you and make an excuse to leave. "Ummm, it's laundry day and I think I left it in the washer."

Sadly, I've known them all.

Can I say that in my lifetime I have known only a handful of lovers that can go down in my journal as A REAL KEEPER. Hell, I even recommended them to write a HOW TO book for those poors saps who are horrid performers! Sorry, guys, you know who you are.

Oh yea... What constitutes a good lover? Let's see...A man who takes the time to know what a woman really wants and not afraid to ask or try new things. If you don't know what you're doing, at least act like you do and make it work. Nine out of ten times an attentive lover discovers a way to do it right. :) -- Most women might want the hot, torrid, rough sex but the bottom line is what they really want is to be held and cherished afterward. A good lover will take his time. These little details makes us feel beautiful, wanted, warm and fuzzy....

The real truth...Passion does exist and I've had it. It may wane, but it never fades and if you'd tasted passion, you will know that you can't make it happen. Either it comes naturally or you can try to make it happen, but I don't guarantee passion can be created if it was never there to begin with. It took me some time to believe this fact... but there exists men out there who can really make your knees weak with a kiss, your heart skip every time you look into his eyes, your hands sweaty when he holds you in his arms and tells you how happy he is to have you in his life....

2 Responses to "New way of thinking..."

He Says :
3:13 PM

Jax,

I love this post. Very honest, very beautifully written.

I won't deny that many, many women aren't putting up with the unskilled or inattentive lovers you've described. (Yes, I'm agreeing with Jax that in virtually every case, a 'bad lover' is male. When was the last time you saw a man roll over in bed, frustrated because he hadn't had an orgasm? I rest my case.)

As a man, here's my advice:

Step 1. Tell him—gently, if you think it's necessary—what you'd like him to do in order to please you. If you need to, show him what you're talking about. If he doesn't get the message, go to:

Step 2. Point out that your needs aren't being met. Say it as sweetly or non-confrontationally as you want to, but make sure it's clear enough that he can't possibly misunderstand. And if he still doesn't get it:

Step 3. Kick him to the curb. And make sure he knows why.

I'll concede that it's more difficult for married women; but there's absolutely no reason you single girls should put up with inattentive lovers.

There are simply too many men out there dying to give you what you need. ; )

jax Says :
7:00 PM

Thanks HE. :)

I'm sure any girl that gets you will be a lucky one! Thanks for your take on my post.

Kicking the guys who have no desire to please their women to the curb is an easy enough task. After all, there are a mere few million other men in the world and I'm sure in California alone there are at least a million. LOL

I think I will be more than happy to spend my nights with a bottle of vintage wine...at least then I am guaranteed satisfaction when I have the need for some.

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