Jax's Artistic Journey...

It's easy to forget sometimes that we've all had overcome adversity once or twice in our lives. I'm not going to lie, the economic downturn has really been a negative in my personal life, but not once have I stopped to feel sorry for myself. Not once have I wept when the situation makes you feel a little helpless no matter how hard you've worked without seeing any results. Sure, I get angry but I don't lose sight of all those times I had to start over--to keep going and keep believing that something good is just around the corner. I'm not the only one feeling the effects of the rocky times. My friends are feeling the same pressures and strains and I find myself consoling them. It's a funny cycle and on the outside, I'm strong...inside, I'm in turmoil.

I knew publishing would be a long, drawn-out journey, and although I've had it easier than most, it still seems like I'm still the new kid. Maybe I'll always be the new kid but it doesn't frighten me. It makes me work harder and it makes me stop to see the big picture. I've never known myself not to write and spin stories. It's in my blood and even when I think I should stop and find a new career better suited for me, I know the truth is that writing is my career. All other jobs I hold are only necessities to get to where I want to be. This has been a bumpy and sad journey because you find out a lot about yourself during tough times. For me, I've found peace within myself and I've found the spirituality I've left behind some time ago. This journey has been a sad one because this is the time you find out who your real friends are. The ones who will turn their backs on you when you're down and out, when you need them most of all to hold your hand. Unfortunately, these so-called friends are the same ones that didn't hesitate to complain and cry while you lent them a shoulder to cry on, now they only see you as dead weight and don't have any problems in watching you sink. After all, they don't want to hear your troubles. Sounds like a harsh thing to say--but I found out who my true friends are, the kindred souls, and ones I wouldn't hesitate to reach out to them at any time throughout my life to be their anchor.

No, this isn't bitterness speaking. This is a reflection, an understanding of who I have become and why I must continue to write. It's easy to quit but it's harder to stay and fight. I'm a fighter. In the meantime, I've got some stories to finish and some more promos to do. Being small press published requires you to do majority of your own promotions. My print run is smaller but I'm going to make sure my sales will reflect my hard work....Mostly, I would be thrilled to know that I actually have readers who like my writing...who likes me. That's always a good thing and keeps a smile on my face.

Think positive. Stay focused. Believe when you think the dark clouds will never pass.