Jax's Artistic Journey...

I've been having a lot of dreams lately. It's one of those things where it feels so real that when I wake up I can't seem to separate the dream state from the reality...This was just an odd weekend for me altogether.

Unfortunately, I wish I was dreaming in this case...You see, my life is nothing interesting without the occasional freakish incidents that plagues me every once in a while...

So, I'm at Wally World Friday night shopping with my sister. We are trying to kill time before picking up my brother-in-law at the airport on the midnight flight. I'm minding my own business as I look at items on the end cap of the aisle when WHOOSH!--this lady comes flying at me from out of nowhere, not paying any attention as she chats away. Next thing you know, she tripped me and I go rolling on the concrete floor. Okay, I wasn't expecting to be kissing the floor...but I realize I've fallen and think I'm dreaming...Not so. I look up at the woman and a bit dazed, in serious back and butt pain, and all I can do is just stare. Her idiotic husband is pushing the cart, just rolling past me, and he looks down and says "What's she doing on the floor?". The woman mumbles how clumsy she is and the couple proceed to quickly check out their purchases and take off like a rocket. Do they stop to offer any assistance? NO. Do they appear concerned or ask me if I have a concussion or broken bones? NO. I'm left sprawled on the floor like a moron and my sister ends up helping me up. What's wrong with people these days!!!! I finally limp over to a nearby seat like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and a cashier calls the manager. Totally humiliated and pissed off at this point. I am given an ice pack and a cushion for my toosh and then I'm faced with filling an injury report while I'm in so much pain I can't even think straight. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the night with an ice pack on my ass. :( WHY ME!!! Sigh.

I've spent 90% of the day in bed and annoyed. Feeling achy and crappy. The rain didn't help me with the aches and I didn't get any work done. Life is just peachy. I had a couple of freelance work assignments that I had to postpone. Aaaaaaargh. Yes, everyone does have those embarrassing moments..and although I can laugh about all this...I am more concerned that this is a prime example that in today's society, some people no longer have any common courtesy or decency anymore. How hard is it to care? I guess I'm just surprised how people could be so selfish and don't have the guts to own up to their mistakes. I'm not perfect, but I would have certainly made sure the person I knocked down was okay. It doesn't take that much time or energy...sniff.

On a last note...I am still in good spirits and I wish everyone a happy, safe, and wonderful time spent with your families!!!!

What do I know about YA? Well, what do I really know about kids and slang these days? Writing this genre has shed new light on this old soul. I came across so many fascinating information about slang, fashion, music, mannerisms, etc. My niece is my beta reader and critiquer. Let me tell you, she's a tough cookie. If I get this wrong, it's all her fault. She's brilliant and leads me to wonder if all 13-year-olds are as smart. I tend to bounce storylines with her and I wouldn't say she's the typical teen, she's got a lot of Auntie Jax's artistic streak..including art, music, fashion (she 'borrows' all my Ed Hardy clothes--okay, just about anything she can get her hands on from my closet)...

As I finish the first ever YA anthology for my publisher's new imprint, I'm nervous as heck about the whole thing. How receptive will teenagers be to anthologies? How receptive are they to clean, good 'ole fashion romance? It's pretty tame compared to what's in circulation (no offense), not as dark, edgy, and 'shockingly real' like those mainstream YA books shelved in Teen's section when they should rightfully be in the Adult section. I'm not about censoring anyone, but when my pre-teen and teen nieces and nephews starts giving me the 4-1-1 on the plot of the books they're reading, I can only gasp in horror. I can tell you I am as hip as it comes, but when you're looking at the faces of such innocence and know that the sexual revolution is hitting kids at ten years old, there is definitely a problem.

Anywoo, I kind of enjoy the concept of reading and writing first crushes, first kiss, first love....awww... I'm very proud of what I've written so far and just hoping that these kids will appreciate the 'back to basics' approach for our line. It's something parents won't have to read first before handing it off to their kids. Sigh. I miss those days when I brought home a flimsy foldout of all the teenage books I could order every quarter which included Sweet Valley High, Nancy Drew, along with those 'first romances' type books that were single title paperbooks the size of Harlequin series romances...I devoured those things and daydreamed about it. No sexual tension, no drugs, and foul mouthed-chain smoking secondary characters...just romance and falling in love for the very first time. Ahhh, that's Amore!

Just finished sending in the final edits so my book can go to press! WOOHOO! It's such a wonderful feeling to re-read your material and see what you've created. I'm going to have to say this manuscript is the most important one I've ever written. Why? First off, it marked the true beginning of my solo writing career. While I was working on this single title contemporary, I had been going through a really turbulent time in my own life and it's reflective in this book. I related to the heroine and her unstable conscience as well as her belief in working out her own problems. When I finished this book, it was as if a weight lifted from my shoulders and I had grown as much as my unpredictable heroine. No matter how my book will be received by reviewers, I will still feel it is one of my greatest accomplishments because it was a personal journey I needed to take. There were times when I didn't have the strength to write and my confidence was at an all time low. I was so ready to give up and didn't think I'd wanted to write again because life was just too painful. In a way, the writing became my therapy. I learned a lot about myself and my own internal strengths. The odds were stacked against me but I did it, I weathered the storm...

It's a proud moment for me and I hope that everyone who reads ART OF SENSUALITY will see that my heart was really in this book. Surely I wish I had been able to execute one or two things differently but it's every writer's insecurity to be a perfectionist. With time, I hope my readership will stay with me and see my own growth as a writer. No one is perfect but I will continue to write what is in my heart and continue to write those happily-ever-afters that women dream about.

I feel truly blessed that all my dreams are finally starting to come true...

In an effort to get all my work done, I've decided to take a break from blogging for a week or two...but knowing me...I might just sneak back here and there if it's really big news...which I'm hoping I'll get...but that's for another blog.



Here I am, inundated with deadlines and just found out I have just added another project to the plate! Wow, I need to stop sending proposals every time I get an idea. But I can't help loving my publisher for believing in me!!!!

This weekend is a productive writing weekend, in fact, the rest of my days will be filled up with writing...eating, sleeping, breathing...that and finishing websites I owe people...life is so tough, I tell ya! In an effort not to have a nervous breakdown, I will be turning off the socializing and locking myself in my quarters like Stephen King does and just write.

Now, if only I can make a living as a writer...that would make things so much more simpler... :)

Enjoy the peace and quiet!

I love LITERARY NYMPHS! I got a stellar review for ART OF SENSUALITY!

It really made my day and with all the work ahead of me, any good news is FABULOUS news. This week I'm busy doing graphic design, edits, cleaning, etc.... so little time.

I don't think I've unpacked my suitcase from Nationals yet. I've only been home to drop off my stuff and then was away at my parent's and now back home as of yesterday so I have some catching up to do and plenty of laundry. Unfortunately, I feel like I'm coming down with a cold but I'm gonna kick this thing!

Alright back to work! What are you waiting on, GO WRITE!

I was feeling a little mopey yesterday and uninspired ... and that's when it happened. There was a story floating around in my head that I decided to morph into a really dark storyline. I always write HEA, so there's no doubt this would be one of the greatest novels I'll ever write. Okay, seeing as I haven't actually written it, but I was able to write the complete outline of the story and it's AWESOME! Maybe sometimes you need those dark periods in order to draw up the most creativity. Sure, every writer has an off day, it's only natural, but when we do come to our senses...the world is a much brighter place. Even if I'm writing dark.

I have another book signing today and I'm really excited about it. I love meeting readers or even non-readers, there is a proud moment when I'm holding my book in my hands. Knowing that I am, in fact, an author! I am so estatic knowing that my words will be read and whether the reader likes it or not, I will have a fair shot at gaining an audience. Of course, the more I write, I believe that I can only get better. My only hope is that the readers can feel the love I have in my story and characters. I truly do write because I know the characters are dying to have their own happy ending...They deserve it.

Sometimes I feel like this person on a boat, rowing away from land with a fearless spirit. Rowing with all my strength without thinking of what's ahead or behind me, not caring when I should stop and turn around. I'm in the zone and I think the world is my oyster, fresh for the taking. Well, writing can have that same exhilarating effect but then when you are at your most comfortable state, you suddenly feel as if you've dropped your oars in the water and then you're just f***ed.

Lately, I've been seeing a pattern. I'm on top of the world one minute when I finish a project and ready to move toward unchartered waters, and then BAM! I discover that all my efforts has made little impact.

With the economy being so bad, everything's taking a hit. Including the publishing industry. The bar is raised, the criteria is tougher and even if you think you're a strong writer, there's always someone out there a little more skilled than you are--Okay, that sux. Seriously. It's frustrating and sometimes affect whether all this is worth pursuing further. I've seen many writer friends of mine fall in this slump where they've lost their joy of writing. Especially when a writer busts their butts trying to write the greatest novel ever written, a dozen times...It's kind of a scary moment because most of these same friends were the one who made you feel that you could conquer anything. These days, I've had a lot of time to reflect and plan out what my goals are for my writing career. I'm focusing on something pretty epic and the more I strive to reach it, the further away it seems to be...but I can almost feel it in my grasp.

Of course there are days where no amount of good reviews and praises ease the pain of what's swirling in our heads and hearts, but in the end, you just have to use a little ingenuity. Maybe jump into the water and swim back just as hard and furious as when you began your trip out.

It may not make any sense to you, but in my head, I totally understand my own rippling analogy.

I can't seem to start my day without a big cup of coffee. My favorite Starbucks drink is the standard latte and, boy, do I love my lattes! I would have to blame this addiction on my sweet mother. Sorry mum.




Since two years old, I would inhale the wonderful aroma of chicory and find my way to the dining table. My dear mother would be deep in conversation with my older siblings or neighbors and unconsciously give me a spoon or two of the French Chicory mixed with condensed milk that she had made in the French press machine. It was a special treat and she would sometimes dip a slice of piping hot french bread in the coffee. It's a traditional thing the Vietnamese inherited from the French. I think I was hooked since then and without my caffeine, I'm a real grouch. :)

This past week I stayed with my parents to keep them company and I realized how easy I had it, how much I took things for granted as a teenager. Memory lane is such a reality check. As adults, it's a constant challenge and everything seems so overwhelming but these are the experiences that help me in my writing. So often in the early stages of my writing career I'd hear comments from my beta readers that I should 'show, not tell' and 'use the 5 senses'. Those words always haunted me, stuck with me as I constructed my sentences.

Hey, I'm not saying it's an easy thing to remember every time--but when I re-read my manuscripts during final edits, it's such a joy to see that my efforts have paid off...thank you mom for creating memories.

When I started out writing romance I had big dreams of being a paranormal romance author. I didn't think I would be writing anything else. Hence, the birth of GHOSTHUNTER. I've had this particular story spinning in my head since I was a kid and it slowly morphed into something so enormous and often overwhelming. As I grew older, so did my characters develop and become more grounded in my head. In the recesses of my mind, I know every detail of the Universe, the characters, the storyline. Often it was so draining I had to step away from the story. When I finally started penning the story, I had no idea how to write a proper manuscript. I was more interested in getting the story on paper and my first draft was terrible! But I was so proud I had completed the project, I didn't look beyond the mechanics and campy tone. Coming from a screenwriting background, it was a difficult transition to go from a dialogue driven piece to a detailed story with plot, dialogue, descriptives, etc...Thankfully, I've learned a lot since my first draft. If I could turn back time, I wouldn't have sent out that manuscript to any agents and editors, but you learn from your mistakes.

That part of my life was three years ago. A lot has happened since then.

I've since moved onto a new genre that I truly enjoy but it's just one of many genres I plan on writing. Today, I am most known for my contemporary erotic romances. I never thought I'd be doing it and writing erotic truthfully 'just happened'. I am a romantic at heart. I grew up being in love with love. I love the idea of love and like most girls, I want to find Prince Charming. I spent years writing screenplays, 98% of my stories were romantic comedies. Naturally, I was happy to write stories of love and romance. It took a little nudging from my girlfriends who wrote erotic to get me to write it. Love and romance came naturally for me and I couldn't pass up on writing about the process of falling in love, the beauty of lovemaking, the act of spiritual growth in a union. Growing up in a traditional ethnic household, there were lots of pressures to be discreet and respectable. Sex was never discussed and so it was easy for a teenager to become curious and want to learn about the unspoken act. Of course, often what was available online was unhelpful, but these days the internet is a wonderful resource for information and much more accurate. Well, it finally occurred to me that the mystery of sex was what led me to explore sexuality in my writing. I needed to dissect and understand what was perceived as right and what was wrong. I was on a personal quest and the discovery was very eye-opening. In understanding my own sensuality and sexuality, I embraced the power of women empowerment. I was finally in a different place in my life and in learning that liking sex wasn't wrong and didn't make you a bad, dirty person...my confidence soared. My openness to learning and exploring shaped the way I had viewed sex. It was liberating. It made me realize it is okay to explore your sexuality because it's truly a personal growth and life altering to hold that kind of knowledge about yourself. In respecting and understanding your own internal strengths and beauty, it could only make you stronger and more confident. I guess because of my own personal influences, I thought it would be a great platform to write multi-ethnic characters that were complex--characters who were fighting internal demons. Writing is a form of therapy because you get to explore the psychological aspect of a character and you hope your story resonates with someone. I'm not saying that what I write is based on my own life, I'm saying that as a writer you can sprinkle some aspects of your personal observations or experiences and incorporate it into the fictitious world of your characters.

With that said, I try to write stories that I would read. I may write multi-ethnic characters but the intention is not to highlight the ethnicity of my characters. My intentions are to write a love story that will transcend race and color. I grew up in an age where I didn't see race. My friends were kids I knew from pre-school and the issue of race never came up until I reached high school. It was a big adjustment to see the world in another light but I never tried to be anything other than an Asian-American who was more American than Asian. It was not about being embarrassed of my heritage but more of my environment and the type of people who influenced me. People who never made it a point to tell me I was different and because of these wonderful people, I continued life just being me. So perhaps I write with the desire that I hope to draw in readers who understand me, where I am coming from and that in some way my books will feel comfortable to them...that my readers will also see past ethnicity and would want to embrace the diversity of a new voice. A voice I hope that I am helping shape.

Getting back to writing is a slow process. How does one settle back into a writing routine after a week long conference FunFest with pressures of deadlines looming ahead? Well, frankly, there's no choice. As a writer who is committed to turn in a manuscript to her publisher, you just have to conquer those little hurdles. I recall those days when I longed to become published so bad I had sacrificed outings, week night indulgences, and weekend excursions because I was determined to make it. Now that I have a handful of print books and 7 novellas out, it still amazes me to see my accomplishments in such a short amount of time. Holding my books or receiving incredible fan mails, I feel totally blessed. Of course there are days when the creativity is stifled and I'm frustrated that everything sounds like crap, but once I get started, I can feel the fire burning inside of me. Every story is a new adventure and I write it with the same passion and heart that I've felt since my first project. Every story is my favorite story and I believe that every one after that will continue to hold the same love.

Why do you write? If you're in it for the money, believe me, there's a long road ahead of you. If you're in it for the love, then you might discover that strength you've never known you possessed.

Why do I write? Because every time I meet a reader who is enthusiastic about my writing and can share with me the very reasons why they love my story, characters, message...I feel like I have already succeeded. Thank you.

**Breaking News**

I was just notified that my poem "LOVE SLAVE" will be featured in the anthology compilation of COMING TOGETHER: AT LAST that will be available in e-book and print through Phaze Publishing! More details to come in the near future. Proceeds of this book goes to charity--I am also excited to announce that a very well-known author will be doing a forward for the book!!!! YAY!

Well, I discovered that the RWA national conference turned into a sort of mini vacation and left me craving for a bit of adventure...

Day One
My flight was cancelled a few hours before departure. I was delayed in Dallas and managed to grab a standby spot through a much earlier flight than scheduled and arrived an hour early to San Fran. Everything worked out but didn't help me shy away from a shopping spree at the airpoirt. Arrived at the Mosser Hotel which was conveniently right across the street from the Marriott where the conference was held this year. The boutique hotel was cozy and possessed enough charm to make my stay nice. I had two drinks at the bar with some of my fellow authors and then headed straight to an agency party where I pigged out on Italian food and drank waaaaaay too many glasses of Chianti! If this was the beginning of what the week had in store for me, I was in trouble.

Day Two
What did I do to pass the time until the Literacy signing? I went out and got inked at lunchtime, of course! Here you can see a lotus blossom I designed in honor of my first release and has hidden Kanji text within the image that means "heart"...

This is Kanji text meaning
"soul"... put them together and it means
"Heart & Soul"... Clever, eh? LOL

The Literacy signing was a huge success and I sold quite a few books, met many amazing people and even experienced a really enthusiastic reader. She was so wonderful that it touched my heart. It's nice to meet readers who really enjoy my stories. Makes all the sacrifice and hard work worthwhile. I was still glowing from the support and praise I received and it made me want to get back to work on my next few projects.

When evening came, I met up with a friend of mine from days at the LA architectural firm. Turned out he got transferred for a few months to San Fran and when we met up, I bumped into two more of my fellow workmates who happened to be walking by and we all had a big reunion drinkfest. We closed the bar and it proved how small this world really is!

Day Three
I can say this conference had a totally different vibe from past years. The energy was strange to say the least and I am guilty of wandering off on sightseeing excursions instead of workshops. I spent hours in the mall and walking down the MarketPlace, to the open market where wonderful trinkets were sold, and finally to managed to be back on time for the Diva Dinner. Yes, it was a mad house at Buca Di Beppo and although the food and company was fun...the management really screwed up based on what we had worked out with them. Needless to say, we learned a lot about what to avoid next year. We are definitely going more private!

I wound up at another agency party and had a great time running around with my pal Gemma Halliday. She had on these spectacular stilettos that were black satin with straps that gathered at the top of her foot by a large circular diamond piece with decorative designs. LOVED THEM! You'd have to see them for yourself! We had a few drinks and dessert and made it back to the hotel. Already worn out by this time!

Day Four
More sightseeing, lots of eating and shopping, and then off to the Harlequin party..which is always OFF THE HOOK! I danced so much my feet hurt on top of all the hurt from my walking! Afterwards we went to karaoke in the heart of the city. We found a cute little place called the Mints where we crammed in as many Divas as possible. Quite entertaining but we left without my beloved black empire waist cardigan sweater with flared three quarter sleeves... sniff sniff. If anyone found it, please return to owner! I'm still mourning the loss of it. By this time, I was soooo ready to leave San Fran. Notice a pattern here, I played conference hooky for the most part....

Day Five
I had a nice breakfast at Mel's Diner and met up with Gemma who told me she had a concussion for slipping in the bathtub in her hotel. Yikes! She was coherent enough but I made sure she would stay awake! Afterwards, I hiked about 13 blocks through the seedy part of San Fran just to take a peek at the new "green" building constructed in the center of all the not so pretty buildings. It was an amazing architecture with very interesting glass and steel and oversized windows. This particular building was showcased in Dwell magazine so I had to see it for myself. Of course, I took a cab from there through Little Saigon, Nob Hill, to Chinatown. I wish I could say I totally explored the area but by the time I got there and browsed through a handful of shops, I was dead tired. I think I went back to the room and totally crashed. Woke up just in time to get ready for the awards ceremony. It's always nice to see everyone beautifully dressed. I couldn't help admiring some of the gowns. This event is the night most of us look forward to because we have hauled our dresses halfway across the US to look pretty. :) I wasn't disappointed so it was worth the hauling.

Day Six
The breakfast with the Divas is always exciting. We gossiped, caught up on news and spent just enough time to make up for all the time I went MIA on them. By this last day, we were extremely exhausted and ready for our own beds. I know I could have made more of an effort to attended the workshops and spotlights but I can say the real reason I love conferences is because of the literacy signing, seeing my friends, and just taking everything at my own pace. I think if the vibe wasn't so stressful this time around, I would have participated more, but maybe with all that's going on in the world it was hard to really settle. Everyone appeared more intense and on edge so perhaps in feeling those emotions, I needed time away from the actual event. Okay, it was a pretty expensive price to pay for a mini vacation but I learned a lot in other areas of my life.

Frankly, I did have a great time and I won't complain because I was able to enjoy taking things at my own pace. I'm sure I have missed a few facts but all in all I can't believe how jam packed my schedule!

Would I do this all over again if I had the chance? Heck yeah!