Sometimes I feel like this person on a boat, rowing away from land with a fearless spirit. Rowing with all my strength without thinking of what's ahead or behind me, not caring when I should stop and turn around. I'm in the zone and I think the world is my oyster, fresh for the taking. Well, writing can have that same exhilarating effect but then when you are at your most comfortable state, you suddenly feel as if you've dropped your oars in the water and then you're just f***ed. Lately, I've been seeing a pattern. I'm on top of the world one minute when I finish a project and ready to move toward unchartered waters, and then BAM! I discover that all my efforts has made little impact.
With the economy being so bad, everything's taking a hit. Including the publishing industry. The bar is raised, the criteria is tougher and even if you think you're a strong writer, there's always someone out there a little more skilled than you are--Okay, that sux. Seriously. It's frustrating and sometimes affect whether all this is worth pursuing further. I've seen many writer friends of mine fall in this slump where they've lost their joy of writing. Especially when a writer busts their butts trying to write the greatest novel ever written, a dozen times...It's kind of a scary moment because most of these same friends were the one who made you feel that you could conquer anything. These days, I've had a lot of time to reflect and plan out what my goals are for my writing career. I'm focusing on something pretty epic and the more I strive to reach it, the further away it seems to be...but I can almost feel it in my grasp.
Of course there are days where no amount of good reviews and praises ease the pain of what's swirling in our heads and hearts, but in the end, you just have to use a little ingenuity. Maybe jump into the water and swim back just as hard and furious as when you began your trip out.
It may not make any sense to you, but in my head, I totally understand my own rippling analogy.
Jax, you can do whatever you set your mind to! You're one of the most determined, hard working, talented people I know and good -no great - things will come. We all have doubts, but you've got to chuck those out of the boat and keep paddling!
Hugs! Have a great weekend!
After I wrote that post I had a breakthrough. I started outlining my new contemporary that is going to be a real tearjerker! Don't know how well that will sell but I am so excited about it. :)
Thanks for cheering me on!