Jax's Artistic Journey...

Okay, I'm borrowing the name of the title of Eden Bradley's book to serve as a segue into this bit.. but seriously folks, this heat wave is killing me. My brain isn't functioning, I'm in a weird cosmic funk and then Katrina had to come and blow over New Orleans.. see what I mean? Maybe I conjured it up.. lol

Anywoo, I've decided that I'm MAXXED. When did I come to this realization? Well, it happened when I finally took a good look at my office and it looks like the hurricane stopped off at my place and left me to sort through the pieces of my life. Simply, I have stepped back and re-evaluated the situation at hand. First off, I'm going to be focusing on my writing more. I'm taking a break from web design (Sort of-- I'll be finishing sites due to my clients). Yes, I will be writing my little fingers off until they are bloody nubs to finish all three books. That's right folks--count 'em.. un, deux, trois! I haven't felt like a writer in a while and it's time to buckle down. Like my niece says, "Stop screwing around and start getting serious. Be responsible." Miss Smarty pants is 12, what does she know about discipline.. well, she is in the top 5% in the state for middle school. :) Alright, I get the hint. I need to focus. I need to crack down on my Time Management and really shift into high gear. Besides that, I've started walking 45 minutes everyday and soon I may be headed back to Vegetarian-ville. Hey, I did it for 9 years before falling off the wagon.. I'm going to get back into the organic lifestyle.. Just watch me.

Don't know what it is about summer coming to an end but I've been SPACED OUT. Yep, I can't seem to focus on anything and I have a tendency to sleep rather than work. I've read almost 5 books in 4 days! No kidding.. not only that, I'm getting so antsy at work I really feel like changing occupations. Of course the only other real career move I'd like to make is a writing one.

Is this summeritis? Y'know, like back in high school you get senioritis. hehe.

Duh, time to get writing.

They speak to me.

They try to lure and seduce me. What can I do? I start up and then I stop, but the voices never cease.

I am guilt ridden and my disease consumes me until I am back writing their words. Words they whisper in my ear, telling me what they like. What they dislike. Telling me that I need to to follow exactly what they say.

Often I am left alone in solitude. A silent treatment carried on too long and too far. I am lonely. Sad they no longer speak and fill my fingers with the creative juices that I yearn.

I finally put photos up from RWA Nationals...

Find out what Romance Divas was up to -- no need to blackmail, I disposed of all the juicy evidence!

RWA 2005

Romantic Times 2005

Check it out and tell me what you think.

I spent most of the morning carefully packaging my partials to agents. It may not matter to them how perfect I put them together, but it matters to me. So, I seal the envelopes and then stamped and dropped them at the post office. Two seconds after I let go of the packages I freaked.

Did I put enough stamps? Did I switch queries? Did I forget anything? Blah blah blah. My mind starts to go haywire. Mayday mayday...hath I messed up? Okay. I took a deep breath and in that moment I wanted a drag of a cigarette even though I don't smoke. Why does this happen?

I'm usually a confident, take charge person. I guess everyone has those brain freeze moments without the actual mind-numbing icees. Yes, it took me several hours to un-fret. Now I'm happy it's out the door and I have to push it far back in the back of my subconscious. OCD kicks in again...but I will prefer the ADD because then I'd be assured I'd forget. :P

Before I forget... Check out Romance Divas' SPOTLIGHT ON segment with CANDACE HAVENS. It's great! Then, buy her book CHARMED & DANGEROUS on September 6th!

As my work load increases I realize my daydreaming does too. I'm at a busy corporate office and all I can think about is that beach house in Malibu, watching the sun go down as I overlook the beach on my deck. A pina colada in one hand as I soak in the view. Wouldn't life be so much easier if this was true?

So, during my lunch break I was watching VH1 and their little 30 minutes "The Fabulous Life Of.." and it so happens that there are a string of man-made islands constructed with the intention of being for sale. Yes, it's true. Not only are they beautifully constructed, the many islands form -- you guessed it -- the map of the world! Each island going for approximately $35 million. Can you believe it? "How would you like to join me on my island?" Yes, I aspire to buy one just so I can say those words. However, my thought is that wouldn't they fear natural disasters or watching the $35 million + island fall into the ocean. Well, they're going to be available in 2008! Imagine that!

Okay, I've been trying to ween off my Starbucks. I purchase a grande latte at least 6 days a week at $3.50 a piece. Now, that's $21 a week! Wow, couldn't I be spending it on something better? This addiction could be stuck in my piggy bank for next year's Nationals... better yet, a dream vacation. Alas, I am terribly stuck...

In other news, I've been working on my partials. As I was reading over my manuscript yesterday I almost had a seizure. Well, frankly, I realized when I re-wrote my Prologue I had changed another character's death scene. Yikes! I cried DISCREPANCY.. now I was good about it thought. I didn't scream too much and now I must do more re-writes.. My poor manuscript has dropped to 333 pages and I have to bulk it up from all the revisions!

C'est la vie!

It's been 3 days since I've returned from Reno and life has been one big blur. It's not like I went overseas, but my body is telling me I need R&R. Maybe all the late nighters and early morning wake up calls I didn't realize I was in zombied mode. Thankfully there were cappuccinos!

How did I like Reno and my first time? I'm giddy just thinking about it. Being a virgin RWA conference attendee, it wasn't anything I'd expected. Between the great Spotlight On these publishing houses, workshops, goodie rooms, lunch speakers, schmoozing and having fun at the slots... I could say it made me see what I'd been missing. I think after this whole experience I will not miss another RWA event again.

I would have to say the special part of all was not the glitz and glamour.. it had to do with meeting up with friends, new and old, and learning about the-- sharing the week with people who will impact your life forever. Yes, there's this special bond that you get from forming friendships and knowing that they really want to know about what you write because they're in the same boat you are. Looking to publish, looking to make a mark in the world, looking for writing full time.

I was sad to leave on Sunday but now it's up to me to keep in touch and watch these friends flourish in their careers and their lives.