Jax's Artistic Journey...

Here's the long awaitied photos ... a peek at the non-existent sleep day when I laboured away by hand sewing the shirt designs to give it an edgy grunge look! We had such a blast and my shirts were the talk of the evening! I ended up taking a little over 200 shots (thanks to Mahoganie who stole my camera and took at least 100 of it!) but I have decided to showcase pics of my amazing team! We had such team spirti...Vincent, Leslie, Colette, Mahoganie and I rocked! Happy to say we raised almost $4,000 for the Jr. Achievement of SoCal! My team raised $800 of that amount and let's just say we won the top prize for rallying top $$$$! Colette and I raised approximately $500 between the two of us..yes, it's true, we were women on a mission. Can't wait for next year!

I find that this search parallels my life...kinda. I've had the best souffle in the world. One I feasted on within the walls of this cozy little restaurant called La Normandie in Orlando. I have to say I was heart broken when a few weeks after I dined there the restaurant closed because the French owners had decided to retire after 50 years!!! Needless to say, I wept for all the lost years without my beloved souffle. Now, fast forward 8 years and I still have not found one damn French restaurant that makes a killer souffle the way I remembered! Tonight, I'm going to go to a trendy restaurant called French Bistro 75, tucked away in the Warner Music building. I'm stoked at discovering they serve my favourite dessert.

So, how does a over blown dessert compare to life? Well, as a kid we have fond memories of all things newly discovered as "wonderful". Every bit of experience relates to discovery: taste, smell, touch, sight. All elements recorded in our teeny heads. Comparison is an evil device. Nothing compares to those experiences once you've tasted heaven. That's how I feel about my souffle. For five minutes while I indulged, closing my eyes and etching the tantalizing taste in my soul..I find I can not help comparing. I have ruined myself by comparing my souffles when it could be equally good from other restaurants, yet it's so easy to overlook.

We are all stubborn creatures. Maybe we should not over analyze. Maybe be should stop comparing. Well, that's the smartest thing my brain has ever said to me...

Thanks to Kristen & Lara, I'm it.

Here are the rules:

A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. I've lost 14 lbs not due to dieting like K! (I love eating too much!)
2. I am ambidextrous. I flip people off pretty well with my left hand too!
3. I talk to dead people. (Not that I want to anymore so I act as if I can't hear them)
4. I was a vegetarian for 9 years before I went to the dark side and became a carnivore.
5. The first tv commercial I ever did was for NBC in Arkansas when I was 10 and in my first indie horror movie when I was 15 called "The Hollis", but the movie was canned due to distribution and financial issues.
6. I can do the cartwheel (nah-nah-nah K.) and was pretty good in gymnastics as a kid.
7. I was a semi-finalist for the "Fly Girls" dance contest but dropped out at the last minute...I could have been buds with J-Lo!
8. I was the elementary school "bully beater" and got suspended a few times. Hey, gotta help the underdog!

I tag Eden, Eva, Tawny, RPia, Lucinda, Night Diva, Gemma, Nonny.

My bowling team mates better appreciate me! I sat up until 3 AM with my buddy..poor guy had to help me hand stitch these goth looking designs! It's awesome!! So professional and good looking...I'd pay money for the tees.. Anyways, it gave me an idea to make a custom t-shirt for myself and try to get interest. Maybe I'd be successful at it...but after seeing the bloody finger pricks from the sewing needle I might change my mind. I'm going to take pics of the cool shirts and nick names for my portfolio.. Love them!

Yawn...sweet dreams...I know I won't get any. Waking up at 5:00 AM to buy boxes and boxes of Krispy Kreme to sell in my office to fund raise... Yep, that's going to be fun. I'm not going to have the energy to bowl, but I'll be popular! LOL

And can I even think? NOT!

This damn Fergie song is in my head. I LOOOOOOVE IT! It's called "Big girls don't cry (personal)".....

REMINDER....Sometime in mid June, all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sales calls.

YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS

To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone:888-382-1222.

It is the National DO NOT CALL list. It will only take a minute of your time.
It blocks your number for five (5) years.
You must call from the cell phone number you want to have blocked.
You cannot call from a different phone number.

Irene M. Rule
Director of Finance
The Futures HealthCore, LLC
136 William Street
Springfield, MA 01105
800-218-9280
fax 866

Life's too short. I've got too much in the pipeline. I'm a bit exhausted and I still have a lot of work to organize. When will I have more than a nanosecond of a day free? God knows. I seem to get my time booked up pretty fast. Don't know how it happens but it does. This is basically my weekend. Thursday fundraise more for my bowl-a-thon charity event Friday. Friday I bowl as Team Captain (time to paint my t-shirt!). Saturday I'm BBQ-ing at Eden's house and taking pose shots for my illustrations. Sunday, a photoshoot! Gotta build up the porfolio. Monday, meeting friends after work. Tuesday, going to a play. Wed...Thu...Fri....so much more but it's nearing midnight and I'm getting exceedingly sleepy. It's been a bizarre day. Don't want to get into it. I need some R&R...at least 4th of July is around the corner. What should I do? I have an idea, but I have to calculate, plan, and maybe execute....

Sometimes you respond to an email and find out that you royally F--ed up.. Like for instance today.. Open mouth, insert foot. I received an email response to something I wrote on a particular loop and the next thing I realize I had responded to what I seemed to think was a personal communication now has been public knowledge. Of course, there are many folks pissed with me, but what can I do but be firm with my opinions. Sure I'm known to be a bitch..but I've tried to be diplomatic. I am certain I've made enemies but then I think that this may be a relief to get things off my chest. Man, I'm good at instigating issues...C'est la vie...anyone have advice for damage control? :)

On another note, at least I didn't have to go to the ER. I thought I was dying of some foul disorder yesterday. Woke up feeling like shit. Cold chills, the shakes, temperature, nauseous, coughing, wheezing...you name it..I felt it. Small wonder I was able to drive home. I got in at 7:30PM and guzzled some Nyquil, crawled into bed and passed out cold. I remember two friends calling me and in my delirium I spoke to them. How, I don't know...all I know is that I woke up feeling slightly better but still harbor minor issues...sigh, when will the sickness end???

Did I mention I may have scored an artshow next year at an art gallery??? Yes, it's true folks! Now I must bust butt to get some pieces to show them....A real LA show (0kay, it's really Pasadena but that's only a matter of geography. LOL)!!!! YAY!

Did you call your father this morning? Of course, my mother picked up the phone and she was so excited to hear my voice she spent a lot of time gabbing with me and hardly got to say anything to dear ole' Dad... LOL I have a fun family. Seems like my sisters and her husbands took a beach trip to have a day picnic-ing and so on. Wish I was laying out...Oh, I will next week. I am gonna work on my tan. If you haven't seen me in a while you would realize you need sunglasses when you speak to me. I'm so white, you're gonna have to squint!

Went and saw a great band SCARLET ROSE last night. Young, fresh, hip and brought me back to the 80s. They're all in their 20s with a retro/European trash look..but also reminiscent of Duran Duran (style wise), Guns 'n Roses, Poison, and those fabulous hair bands! I've got pics which I'll put up on Romance Divas and will do an interview of them soon! HOT!

Got a full day ahead....will report back!

Haven't sketched anything for a long time..this was fun to do in Illustrator as a warm up exercise. I'm going to be doing a series of "Women and Sensuality" themed art pieces to hopefully have a gallery showing. I'm trying a new medium on wood panels and I'm estatic about it. Can't wait to start working on it. I'm going to take my time and try to produce a unique change in my usual style...

Been a while since I've done anything artistic. I miss the smell of acrylics, twisting open the cap and inhale the scent of fresh paints...I love sinking my fingers in the colors and messing up the perfect color spectrum, feel the dripping liquid touch my skin when mixed with water and it makes me feel alive. Like I have just woken up from a dream. Unfortunately, that's not what happened. The reality was that I got some art pencils and a sketch pad over the weekend and finally put it to good use. I haven't drawn freehand in ages and it was such an incredible feeling to create. The images I drew came out so naturally that it felt like being ten again. I couldn't believe that I still had the ability to draw! Now, I've decided that I'm going to move from paper to something more interesting. Maybe practice on my watercolors and move on from there. I miss art shows and I miss seeing it hanging up at cafes or galleries...I'm very estatic about the prospect of making art. It's better than sex! Well, almost. LOL

I should be sleeping but this hacking cough sucks. I feel like my chest is going to explode. I must have guzzled a gallon of Nyquil, but it hasn't kicked in! So what the heck am I doing? I am watching 'The Last Comic Standing' and it makes me want to try it. Maybe I'll take a class on it. Someone I knew took something like that to get over her fear of public speaking...but that's another story. Why am I watching tv when I should have been napping? I'm just jazzed up for some screwed up reason. Okay, 10:23 PM isn't that late but I really should be off to bed...jeez, I'm going!

Been away from work for technically one day with bronchial problems. Tuesday there was a freak power outage at my building and it was closed. Wednesday I come in hacking and dying and have a dozen voicemails and one disappointed boss. There was an important project that needed attention and due to my absence my assistant screwed up an important task...sigh, so I get to haul ass covering my little one. :) I think that everything is under control but still have to have a "meeting" with myself and 2nd assistant..oh well...

Onto other news, I found sad and even sadder news last night... my friend is going through a divorce and another friend had committed suicide. I was shocked about discovering this 2 months after the fact. :( M.M. had so much going for himself and seems tragic to have to resort to this to escape life's problems. I find myself going over in my head why I didn't communicate with him more, to check on my friends more often, to send emails ... but we can't be saviours and we can only do what we can in this life. This year has been a doozy for me...but I shall perservere. I look at these things as life lessons and realized that the strength that I have drawn upon has given me more power to overcome these obstacles. In my quest for spirituality, I've discovered more about myself in a few months than I would ever have in a lifetime. Sure, I'm not perfect but I am working on being a good person inside and out. I'm trying to curb my temper and trying hard to be more understanding and level headed. It's a very tough feat! Believe me...LOL

I've got many reasons to look forward to the future and it's brighter than it's ever been. I'll uncover more when it's time...

No results yet, but feeling better with all the meds in my system! Hallelujah for pharmaceuticals!!!! Today I'm going to try to get a few things done around my bachelorette pad and write and sleep and eat... Rest is important since I have ugly circles under my eyes from lack of sleep due to coughing. I had an ephiphany during my delirium yesterday ... great revelation and insight to myself. I'm moving on. Yep, that's true ladies and gents. A new me today and I'm going to kick this cold or whatever the hell it is and I'm going to be in charge! What a difference from the sulking girl yesterday. I think the fever has broken and I'm no longer muddled by the dark clouds that has swirled in the midst.

I've decided that I need to start thinking of more interesting topics or else I'm going to lose my blog readership. We can do the "101 Dates" theme. Or we can do interviews..which I suck at sending out questions on time. Well, maybe I can do something brilliant like my buddy who does "horny haiku"...is that me? Sure. Okay, okay, any suggestions on making my blog more entertaining and not some dark, philosophical, wannabe meaning of life blog that turns folks off? I'm listening...

What do they say..when life hands you lemons make lemonade? Well, the Universe gave me another lemon in the form of possibly "mono" of all things! For goodness sakes' when have I ever gotten mono? Never. I think it's a fluke. I think I've had pneumonia that hasn't gone away. Swollen lymph nodes, trouble swallowing, chills... I'm not moping. I'm a bit pissy and a bit aggravated and life is a bit on the annoying side today. I can't control these emotional outbreaks. Is this the beginning of a breakdown? I think not. It's only the beginning of my beginnings. So, I went and got my blood test from a "fill-in" tech because at midnight all the medical staff across the US will be on strike. Good thing I got my labwork in on time! You should have seen her plunge the needle in and when she yanked it out my blood went splattering on the floor. Nice! I was a tad bit concerned she had not taken blood samples before in her life. Oh well. I guess it was a good sign when she didn't laugh maniacally! Tomorrow I'll know for sure if I have "mono"...haha It's so ridiculously funny. I'm going to try to write a few pages, catch some zzzz's and figure out how to relax. My ex- tells me I'm too uptight, I love pushing buttons and I need to stop being hysterical. I'm not into hysterics. So you see, after all that time with him you'd think he'd know me. I guess no one ever will. Am I that complex a creature? Maybe that's why I can't hold a relationship. After all, a person who's been engaged as many times as I have would be considered a runaway bride...that's a whole 'nother story. Anyways, I'm going to put on my bunny slippers and curl up in a ball to watch Music & Lyrics. Ex- tells me to stop listening to that shit because it makes me depressed. I don't think Brandi Carlile's music depresses me. It rejuvenates, stimulates, and makes me aware of the realities of my life. Now, where's the damn kleenex box?!!

Enough said...

Well, going Hot Pink that is. (Will show you on a later post) Tonight is Eden's book release party and I'm stoked. Last night I got a copy of my FIRST PRINT BOOK in my hands and I wanted to weep. It's the most amazing thing to see yourself in print. It validates everything you've worked so hard for. There are a lot of changes in my life and now that I'm part of the "Singles" team, it's going to get some getting used to. I know, I know..folks think I've become a lush, but in truth, I'm celebrating life. I'm celebrating living and I'm celebrating my new direction. There's a lot of energy and I'm very happy. At times I'm melancholy and sad, but it's fleeting and fades away. Nothing like the feeling of emotions to build up your spiritual side and make you stronger...

You truly don't understand yourself until something profound happens.

I'm very happy for you C. I truly am and I wish you all the best in your new journey because you deserve it and I do love you...I always will.

What can I say, I LOVE THE GOO GOO DOLLS! Johnny "cutiepie" Reznick is quite the performer! He didn't put on those leather pants I love so much, but his sexy hair and tats made up for it. The venue was the House of Blues on Sunset. I parked my car at my co-worker's friend's apartment two blocks from there and we made our trek up the hill to our destination. (From here on out she will be referred as "Lush".) We were shuffled in, weapons checked, and went straight for the bar. Cosmopolitans with bacardi lime rum...yummy start. We found some seats and parked our asses. The night started to blur when we began drinking Coronas and Fosters beer. The Fosters were 25 ounces and we had 3 of them! The appetizers were being passed around and since we were one of the only ones with a seat, we got first dibs. I guess since we were sitting behind Lori Laughlin & her fiance the designer Mossimo, they must of mistaken us for VIP. As for the apps--nothing to write home about. Vegetable eggrolls, chicken tenders, mini-cheeseburgers...boring. You'd think $400 a ticket would get you caviar and shrimp cocktails! Well at least it all went to Music for education! Love that! Fast forward to 4 hours later, the concert ended and I had to escort Lush out of the facility. We trekked up the hill and she decides to buy me a drink at Boa, this swanky steakhouse and bar lounge. We get super pricey brews and keep gabbing about life, love, relationships, work, anything gossip worthy. Once out the door she got a call from the friend who wanted some alcohol. I drag her across Sunset to a liquor store and we grab a few rather enormous beers. The clerk was cracking up since Lush had the case of the hiccups and we probably appeared tanked to him. I gave him the "I'm not inebriated, Thank you very much" face. Well, I suppose I became the designated friend dragger that night. Needless to say, I got her home safe and sound and I'm sure she continued socializing with her friend over more drinks. As for me, I drove home and kicked back with a bottle of Red. Can I remember most of the evening? Nope. But I have a hellacious hangover and (I think I'm still drunk) made it into work early. I'm a sad case and after 3 cups of strong black coffee this morning...nada. I need a bed in a bad way! Of course, you know I'm holding out on the juicy stuff...that's for me and Lush to keep to ourselves. LOL It's fun to have another single gal to hang out with. I know she's going to be trouble! Life's not so bad after all....

TRAIN

I've just taken a seat on the train
I walked through busy streets down a shadowy lane
I just bought my ticket for the ride
there's no turning back now
no matter what I decide
steel body moves fast, hinges pounding against the ground
I sink into my seat
I pray for it to speed up, but I wish it would slow down
my body quivers with anticipation for what lies ahead
wood is thrown onto the fire that cries out to be fed
mist shrouds the dawn, so ahead I cannot see
the train it moves ever forward into the misty sea

there's so many faces
most of the time I feel so alone
there's so many places
will I ever stop and know my own home?

I know I'm gonna get there, but I'm not sure when
nor do I know where I'm going, so I won't pretend
I cannot see beyond the horizon nor around the bend
the train it moves ever forward without a seeming end...
out of one window, I saw rain
I looked through the other, and I felt the warm sun's rays
the wind, it gently blew across my weary shoulder
and time whispered in my ear, Child, you're just gonna keep getting older
but I've done nothing more than take a seat on this here train
yet my life turned upside down and only
only the little things are right

OMG! I just scored tix to the Goo Goo Dolls special event concert with a co-worker for Thursday night. It's a charity event and I'll get to hobnob! Don't know if cameras are allowed but I'm sure as hell going to try to bring mine. Me and Johnny!!! I think he's so sexy! We also got his new album in advance of the release. It's AWESOME! I can say this is inspiration for my writing....I feel good!

Reasons why you need to buy this book....It's absolutely FANTASTIC! Eden's debut novel will engage you, excite you and make you wish you had a Christian of your own! I loved it and learned a lot about the BDSM lifestyle. Believe me, it's fascinating... I think many people have preconceived notions about this, but a true lifer is one who understands the psychology of this underground world and embrace it. It's really a love story with a lot of heat and passion. Eden's got a contest running on her BLOG that will surely entice you if my words aren't enough...what are you waiting for? GO get it!

THE DARK GARDEN by EDEN BRADLEY

Publisher: Bantam Dell
Release Date: June 1st

A deliciously potent tale of one woman’s quest for self-discovery

Rowan Cassidy likes to be in charge—especially in her personal life. As a mistress at Club Privé, the most exclusive bondage/S & M club on the West Coast, Rowan can live out her dominant fantasies safely, and with complete control—until the night Christian Thorne walks in. Self-confident and sophisticated, he’s a natural dominant if Rowan’s ever seen one. Yet she can’t stop thinking about him and imagining his touch.

Christian has returned home, hoping to break free from his dissatisfaction and malaise—and discovers the cure in Rowan. He’s dying to get his skilled hands on her and watch her surrender, to unlock the mystery of her that captivates him. Determined to be her master, he makes Rowan a daring proposition: give herself over to him for thirty days.

Rowan finds Christian’s offer terrifying—and impossible to resist. But abandoning herself to Christian’s power might be more than she can handle…. Or it might be the realization of her true nature and the dark garden within her. There will be only one way to find out. And once the game has begun, there’s no turning back.

About the Author
Eden Bradley has been writing since she could hold a pen in her hand. When not writing, you'll find her wandering museums, cooking, eating, shopping, and reading everything she can get her hands on. Eden lives in Southern California with a small menagerie and the love of her life.