Jax's Artistic Journey...

Once again I'm packing up and moving temporarily to my second home in Florida. I know my girlfriends are excited about my return, and I am too! It also means there will be less time for myself with family buzzing around but I'm going to be way too busy job hunting. The biggest change for me will be getting back into Corporate life and interacting with real live people again! In a crazy sort of way, I'm happy about it. I was starting to feel like my only friends were figments of my imagination. Trust me, I'll miss living in my pajamas and sock monkey slippers but my bank account will thank me. How else am I going to afford going to conferences and paying for membership dues? It adds up. That's not including my book buying addiction...

Besides, working from home has been awesome but I'm learning that I thrive most when I'm with people, just as much as some people thrive on drama. I need to keep my mind going, fueling my spirit, and I'm hoping it will get me to focus. When you're working a nine-to-five, you appreciate writing so much more. I'm actually looking forward to prettying up and straightening my curly mop of hair again. I want to slip on those strappy heels because they're too delicious to be lining the floors. When my wardrobe has mostly consisted of a dozen sweats and a handful of pajamas, you start feeling kind of unsexy. Yes, your heard it right...so I'm going to change all that. With 2010 in the horizons, I'm going to get back on track physically and mentally...and then I'll be ready for NY and what's in store for me...

Just as the quote says...

I'm ready to live life again!

I've done a lot of soul searching lately. Moving really does have this weird affect on me and it puts me in a totally different zone. While I packed and sealed boxes, I thought about all the things I want to pick back up and create. I miss painting, writing screenplays, film making, going to museums, going to the beach...as I start prioritizing things in my mind, I'm setting goals for myself and what I hope to achieve, what I want to work on that will add to my life. I have always had a love of travel and luckily so does Mr. Right. As a way to focus and work toward my goals, I've decided to think smart, produce more, and make these things happen. I'm generating a checklist for my 5 year goals and I am hell-bent on a major book deal this year. It was on my pseudo 2009 resolution but now it's time to get down-'n-dirty. It's time to say 'no more ms. nice gal'--and it's time to kick some butt! I've had these dark clouds follow me for way too long and I've had enough of it. So, I've started researching, plotting, finding ways to make things happen. I'm not going to sit around and let whatever outside elements get me down, I'm going to turn the wheels that will get me to my goals faster.

I know, these are very profound thoughts for a person who is packing, but sometimes the only good time to do these things is now. I'm already gearing my mind for success and I know, come December, I will do a recap that will include contracts, stability, success, and a solid footing. It's time that I stepped up and fought back instead of allowing my insecurities to limit my progress.

Offline until next week...I'm outtie.

So, we're still unloading the 15 foot truck--ahem, modestly filled with my belongings...about a dozen boxes being romance and reference books...the necessities of a romance author--now that I've been in my unfurnished apartment two nights, it didn't sink in that there were a few things that we should have been alerted to before we started making the place homey.

For instance, there's a stretch of old railroad tracks running parallel to apartments (which my office faces) that Mr. Right was told was defunct. NOT. I witnessed the train swishing past and decided it was time to explore the city and grab my Starbucks while I was at it. But that's not the best part...how about hearing constant banging and clanging throughout the day. You see, there's the trash shoot that is conveniently installed next to my apartment. It's so close that I've heard the swoosh of the trash as is tumbles and slides down, then there's the quick BOOM! as the metal box slams shuts. Do people really throw out the trash at 1:00 AM?! Considering it's been in the 30s and 40s here, I'm too darn lazy to get my tiny butt out of bed to face the impending cold, let alone dump trash. Sigh. It looks like we'll be switching apartments...grrrr...more moving but at least the furniture hasn't come in so that's a plus. Too bad I'm going to have to re-forward everything that was coming to this place...another item on my to-do list...Universe, give me patience :)

To my friends, I'll be sending out a mass email soon with my new apartment number!

Enough about that.

Texas folks are really friendly. I'm still trying to get used to the southern twang all around, but it's unavoidable, I'm afraid. Where I am living, it's a tiny little city 20 minutes outside of Dallas. All the shopping strips and groceries stores are five minutes away--which I totally love! I'm a city girl but it's nice that people look you in the eye, say 'thank you' when you open the door, and they're quick to make small talk. It's kind of refreshing. In LA, people were nice, but they were always guarded, which made me more introverted at times. One thing's for sure, there's a lot of Tex-Mex and BBQ restaurants around. I'm not big on Mexican food but I'm certainly going to have to get used to it.

Yeehaw! How y'all doing...

Moving SUCKS! Plain and simple. With my hectic schedule, the holidays, plenty of procrastination, and flu season I didn't get much accomplished. The six weeks of packing I had has now dwindled down to two weeks...**sigh** Time to buckle down and get back to boxing, sorting, tossing, and upping the alcohol consumption. Gotta love the holidays!

Seriously...I love the idea of moving--I actually hate the moving part. Thank goodness I don't own furniture. I dumped all the big stuff in LA. New furniture and necessities I'll get in Texas as I settle into my new place. Since I'm not purchasing a house for at least 13 months, holding out for my custom made "Green" home in an HOA-free community, I'm going to make my new space very minimalistic...except for my office. I figure I'd spruce it up so I can feel like I'm a real author. LOL

I'm thinking that the next two and a half weeks I'll be scarce on the blogging. I'll try to post between breaks from moving insanity. Maybe even post during my road trip if I can pick up some free wi-fi. I'll be sure to take snapshots as I go. Documenting is fun and since I was sick with 102 degree fever during my road trip from LA to Orlando, I didn't get a chance to use my photography skills...so, I'm totally going to make up for it this round. I'm not sure how fun it will be 20 hours in a Uhaul...but I'll make the most of it. Hummm, there's going to also be plenty of time to brainstorm. I certainly hope this will be the last long distance moving I'll do for a while. I definitely deserve the trip to Italy after all this is said and done!

I've got a month to pack all my stuff in between writing deadlines and holidays. Moving is always exciting but the actual putting things in boxes, tossing things out, trying to fight your way through a messy room is disastrous. I wish I could snap my fingers and it's all done. Unfortunately, the reality is that I have to do it all myself. At least I'm getting to do it in stages. The last two times I moved, I had a little under a week to pack ten years of junk. Needless to say, I dumped a lot of stuff but now I find myself looking at more stuff I've managed to pick up along the way. I will confess now--I'm a pack rat! There, I've said it. I'm not so proud of this fact but I'm trying to do away with anything that I can. The problem is that I want to hold on to everything. It's not a good thing. I have a love of collecting office supplies and writing materials. I'm not including cases and cases of books I've saved and I bet I haven't read most of the books. With my busy schedule I put everything aside but there's never enough time to sit down and enjoy a book like before I was published. I'm not even going to attempt to read 50 books in a year. I can barely get through 10! Sadly, someday I will read again but the constant need to produce for deadlines can leave me weary.

Don't get me wrong. I love moving to a new place, starting over, trying to plant my roots but I'm a traveler. I always have been and I wonder if I'll ever find that place I've been looking for. I've made up my mind that if I make it big, I'm just going to have to buy a lot of homes in different cities and countries. When the travel bug bites, I'll have options.

At least I finished my proposal today! Woohoo! Now I have to polish them before I send it out...sigh. After reading something a dozen times, you start to fade a bit. I hope tomorrow I'll look at it from a fresh perspective. Now, I'm going to find something to watch. Why are Saturdays the worst nights for television? Maybe I'll be lucky and catch the 2nd episode of Top Chef somewhere....

The true test of my abilities is in packing the whole damn place by myself. At first I was a bit intimidated by how much 'stuff' I've collected for one person, but as I started to delve in I realized that it's a little therapeutic. I'm tackling a task that reflects how far I've come. I've been in and out of longterm relationships in the past where I didn't have a lot of say in creating the environment I wanted. Okay, I can be too accommodating at times and just let the men in my life take over. When I moved into my cozy little dump I inherited from a friend, I immediately took it upon myself to re-create myself and my environment. Eight months later and three shades of red walls staring back at me, I realized this is just the beginning of my new life as an independent woman with a full-time writing career! Of course, it's going to be unstable and a bit chaotic, even stressful. I'm fine with that. I'm looking forward to the challenges of reaching the goals I've set for myself.

A special friend of mine calls my home a "Seduction Den" for all it's romantic elements, enticing colors, and Euro-Asian decor choice. I laughed at it, but truthfully this is who I am and always have been...a romantic at heart. I may be a little rough around the edges but ultimately I need to remain passionate about life and relationships because I need it to propel me to create work that's believable. Even in the midst of moving I've churned out 25 pages. Of course, I wanted to do 50 by the end of the week but it's not going to happen for me...I'm usually a competitive person by nature but this time, I'm going to step back without guilt. Sometimes, we have to step up to our responsibilities, step down from commitments, even if we're an overachiever.

I've said it before, but the truth is, I'm in a really good place right now. Things are coming together for me and although I've hit adversity many times over I'm still rolling along with more strength than I had imagined.

This may be the last post until after my road trip... If I'm real lucky I'll have wi-fi to post photos of my adventure....Jeez, it hit me that I need to map the trip! Oh well, maybe I'll wing it.. LOL

Boy, I'm going to miss being online! Ciao.